Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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