all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
being pregnant is like rehab
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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