It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize