# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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