As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Randomize
