Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I want to make a zoo with you.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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