ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
