NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
