Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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