Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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