Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
