Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
