Just fell off a train. Bad.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
