You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
