just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
