she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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