I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
