Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize