Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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