Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
