Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
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