so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Randomize
