Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
