so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
my shit smells like andre
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
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