I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
