Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
50% drunk capacity currently
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
