I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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