i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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