My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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