careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize