So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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