nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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