sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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