the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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