He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
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