we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Did you pee in the oven last night??
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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