oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
