This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
