I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I am puke
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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