SEEEEXXX PLEASE
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
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