I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I AM VODKA MAN
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
