And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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