wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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