It's like God shit irony all over that family
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Randomize
