ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize