Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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