kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize