Rock
Scissors
Fuck
so explain again why im purple
no
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize