Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Even the bartender felt bad for me
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize