I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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