I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
