How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
