I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize