its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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