there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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