i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
