Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
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