I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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