HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
