dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
