it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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