Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
