Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
