i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Randomize
