I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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