Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
