i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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