the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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