I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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