nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
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