CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize