he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
