Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
