Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
