you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
