I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
